


Apology

by Anonymous



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 02:51:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10607763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: You ever have those days... when you want to apologise to everyone for everything?





	

The day was long and Wonwoo feels weary to the bone. His limbs feel like dead weights, but also like anchors that tie him down to the ground, keeping him awake.   
The back of his head has been pounding since morning and a lump sits in his throat- refuses to dislodge no matter how many times he swallows.   
The apartment is dark and deserted when he gets home. The silence magnifies his thoughts manifold till they overwhelm him. Stumbling, he falls into bed. He tries for the longest time to quell the darkness within, but inside his head, he's running around circles. So he reaches for his phone, calls the only person he thinks will listen.

"Hello?"   
"Soonyoung-ah..." maybe it's the way his voice breaks on the syllables or the tone, but it gives away his state of mind. The line goes dead silent. "You ever have those days..."   
There's no response so he continues, "when you want to apologise to everyone. What for? You don't know. But you want to say sorry."   
"I do."   
Wonwoo feels his heart clutch at the sound of Soonyoung's voice. He despises the concern he hears there.   
"Except. You can't apologise because they'll either pity you or think it's a ploy for attention. Or both." He feels the onslaught of tears- they well up in his eyes, spell doom.   
"Yes, I know. I isolate myself when that happens."   
Something about the way he says it so matter-of-factly, is the last straw for Wonwoo. He starts crying. Silent tears trail along his cheeks. He thinks about how he never even knew when Soonyoung had those days, when he closed himself up.   
"I'll talk to you in a while okay. Eat something." Soonyoung says before he hangs up.   
Eating is the last thing on Wonwoo's mind.   
He loses track then, of time, of his thoughts. The calm is disturbed by his phone buzzing next to his head.

"Hello?" He says and winces when it comes out as a dry croak.   
"Are you asleep?" Oh, it's Soonyoung again.   
"No."   
"Then come outside. I'm here."   
"What?"   
"I'm outside your place. Come out."   
Wonwoo squints at the time. It's a little past ten. "Okay."   
The cool wind stings his dry eyes and dried tear tracks are uncomfortable. But he hauls himself out of bed.   
Sure enough, Soonyoung is there. His hair is all over the place and his jacket is too thin for the weather.   
He sits down on the stairs and gestures for Wonwoo to sit next to him.   
Reluctantly, he settles. It's inappropriate, he thinks, when his heart speeds up as Soonyoung wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls him close. It beats even more strongly when he pulls his head down into his shoulder.   
Lean on me, he seems to say with his actions.   
"Tell me, why you want to apologise to everyone."   
A cold gust of wind makes them both shiver. But Soonyoung is steadfast, he waits silently.   
"I'm sorry to my parents..." he starts hesitantly. Feels a little braver when the fingers on his shoulder tighten imperceptibly.   
"For not being the son they wanted- handsome, clever, strong, outgoing. For not taking science."   
A stray dog barks in the distance. Says, I know.

"I'm sorry to my brother for not being caring and kind. For never showing concern like he does."   
The tears follow the words, run down his cheeks and across his nose and lips and pool near his temple. Soonyoung takes a deep breath.   
"I'm sorry to my friends for never being there for them because I was always living in my head."

He sniffs, swallows thickly but he's sobbing now. All his defences- his carefully crafted self control- it's getting washed off with his tears. He buries his head into the soft fabric of Soonyoung's jacket, who then gently brings him in closer. He twists till they're face to face.   
"And Soonyoung, I'm sorry."   
"Why?"   
He runs a hand through his hair, offering all the comfort that he can.   
"That I'm here. That you met me at all."   
He hiccups as the cries wrack his body. His senses have logged out, given up on keeping track of so many sensations and thoughts all at once. So he hardly realises when he's taken back inside the apartment, and laid carefully on his bed. He cries even as Soonyoung strips off his jacket and jeans and lays down in bed next to him.   
In the space between his shoulder blades, something dark and heavy has settled, something that wears Wonwoo down till he feels like he lacks the energy to even breathe.   
Soonyoung hugs him then. Keeps him so close that his tears soak into his shirt and the pathetic whimpers are muffled by the proximity.   
"I love you." He hears the little whisper.   
Pity, his brain instantly shouts.   
"No. You don't. You're just..." Wonwoo's voice shakes even as he says it. "Feeling bad for me."   
"I'm not." Soonyoung says with so much conviction that Wonwoo is nearly convinced.   
The way he carefully presses his lips on Wonwoo's shoulder, imprints little petals of affection on the skin there, and runs his hand over and over again, all add to it till Wonwoo can believe that he really does love him. All the his resistance wears away and his cries cease.   
"I love you."   
Wonwoo wants to respond, to echo the sentiment. But he's drifting already. So as a last measure, he presses himself as close as he can, wraps his arm tighter and breathes easy.   
I love you too, he tries to say.


End file.
